Listening to…

…Tori and Nirvana.

One to motivate, the other to cathart, an appropriate blend, like whiskey in your tea.

Bonus points that my beautiful wee girls like to dance to both since they are all that matters anymore.

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Thought I Had

You know how when men have a problem or some sort of crisis or issue,
generally they want to talk about it, but they don’t want a solution? They
just want to hear “that sucks” or “what a bummer” and then maybe hear a
good joke to take their minds off the thing, and other guys instinctively
know this? Well I think the equivalent with women is ego stroking.
Seriously. Something I’ve been noticing lately is as soon as one woman
goes to another with a major crisis, the other woman always ends the
conversation with “You’re such a
strong/intelligent/beautiful/fill-in-theblank person and I know you’ll get
through this.” Or something like that. And even if we know it’s a load of
shit it somehow always makes us feel better. And if men and women just
realized this about each other, maybe we would all get along just
famously. Or at least we would stick our feet in our mouths on a less
regular basis. Or something.

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The Return Of Pan

lyrics by the Waterboys

I stood upon the balcony with my brand new bride

the clink of bells came drifting down the mountainside

When in our sight something moved

– lightning eyed and cloven hooved –

The great god Pan is alive!

He moves amid the modern world in disguise

it’s possible to look into his immortal eyes

He’s like a man you’d meet anyplace

Until you recognise that ancient face

The great god Pan is alive!

At sea on a ship in a thunder storm

on the very night that Christ was born

A sailor heard from overhead

a mighty voice cry “Pan is dead!”

So follow Christ as best you can

Pan is dead! Long Live Pan!

From the olden days and up through all the years

from Arcadia to the stone fields of Inisheer

Some say the Gods are just a myth

but guess who I’ve been dancing with

The great god Pan is alive!

(detritus)(dream)(poetica)(myth)(opinion)(divination)

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untitled

If I told you what my tears taste like

You wouldn’t in a million years believe me

Here I am again

Driving in a wall of sound

Shutting out the world

Before it shuts me out

I can cry and rage and scream, but

Inside I never feel a thing

Like my body’s still alive

and my brain can’t quite reach it

I’ve been so frozen and so distanced for so long

It’s a wonder I can function

It’s a wonder I’m here at all

Sometimes I think I can laugh myself awake

Or that I could be loved into being

If only I were worth it

Why I keep trying is pretty much beyond me

These words are not a work of art

Just the truth

Something with which I have a tenous relationship

I think I’d rather be a monster than a liar anymore

you can’t really suffer when you’re not all there

So what am I afraid of?

(detritus)(poetica)(myth)(opinion)(divination)

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Simple Rituals if one were inclined to believe in that sort of thing…

Ending Depression

Recite 3 times the following:

Blessed Mother turn your face,

See with Love this empty space,

Renew my heart with love for life.

Remove from me this pain and strife.

Catalyst for Change

Need: a piece of clear quartz or a diamond.

Hold the quartz in your hand, close your eyes and take three deep breaths. Bring to mind all the restrictions and limitations in your life. Allow yourself to feel any emotions that surface as a result. Visualize your limitations, see your frustration transforming. See them become a catalyst for change, motivate you to release the past and create a better future.

Know that, just like coal is transformed into a diamond by intense pressure, your life’s frustrations and pressures are working to create a better you. Carry the crystal with you as a reminder.

Finding the perfect job

Need: Classified section, tape or glue, paper/pen, marker, objects to burn paper.

Write or type a blurb about yourself as if you are writing a help-available ad. Include your general qualities, what you’d like to do day to day at work, your pay range, be realistic.

Now, write a help-wanted ad. Don’t mention any specific company or employer. Just write it so that the job position would be a perfect match to what you wrote for your help-available post.

Glue both ads into the appropriate part of the classified section of the newspaper.

Cast a circle. Inside the circle, take a black marker and circle both of your ads, connecting them with a line. This is your new Perfect Job Symbol. Concentrate on it.

Burn the newspaper, releasing your intent. In a few days, look through the want ads and find your job waiting for you.

(detritus)(dream)(poetica)(myth)(opinion)(divination)

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I am indeed still alive, it seems…

Saw Shrek 2 and it was rather cute for a sequel, at least the few minutes of it I saw when I wasn’t busy chasing a two year old back to her seat. And I attended a kindergarten graduation today and I was quite proud. And some day I will be able to watch a video that doesn’t star the Care Bears, but it’s not going to be tonight, it looks like…The more my life changes, the more it stays the same, I guess.

My other thought for the day is…if I ever have five minutes to myself again, I’m volunteering for the Democratic Party. Although I may never have five minutes to myself again, that may just be wishful thinking.

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Neil Gaiman Dream

Dreamt I went at the last minute to a Neil Gaiman signing and ran into the

man as he exited the restroom, but was too dumbfounded to speak. He was

just as I pictured him, but with a streak of grey hair in the back.He was

rather elfin, actually, is the only thing I hadn’t initially surmised.

Luckily I had Sandman comics in the back of my car. Advice for lucid

dreamers: everything you need can be kept in the trunk of your car. To get

to the signing, I had to thwart my parents, whom for some reason I still

lived with. I have a lot of dreams where I still live with my parents.

Maybe it’s time to finally grow up.

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Today is the first day of the rest of my life…

..so allow me to begin it with one good deed. Read it and pass it on. That

is all:

Dear Corbid,

You and I have a message to send.

What the Bush Administration chooses to do about the horrific scandal of

torture and abuse of prisoners in Iraq will determine what kind of country

we are going to be for decades to come.

We must make certain the Administration does the right thing. I want every

Amnesty supporter to know how we are responding to this crisis and to ask

for your immediate help. If you are a current Amnesty member, please make an

emergency contribution now by clicking here.

If you are not yet a member, there has never been a more important time to raise your

voice.

For nearly a year Amnesty has been raising concerns about allegations of

torture and abuse of detainees by U.S. and Coalition forces in Afghanistan,

Guantanamo, Iraq and elsewhere based on our interviews with former detainees

and other sources. We have had no meaningful response from the Bush

administration. And, despite repeated requests we have been denied access

to all detention facilities run by the U.S. Amnesty is openly calling for

specific, verifiable steps to end this horrific crisis, including:

(1) A public declaration stating that the torture and humiliation of

prisoners will not be tolerated;

(2) A halt to all ill-treatment of prisoners in U.S. custody;

(3) Granting independent human rights monitors unrestricted and regular

access to the government’s numerous detainees in all detention centers;

(4) Compensating victims of abuse and conducting future interrogations of

prisoners in accordance with strict human rights standards; and

(5) An end to incommunicado detention.

In the days and weeks ahead, Amnesty will mobilize actions including an

International Day to End Torture in key cities and towns across the country.

Amnesty activists have begun organizing our members and other Americans of

good will to create citizen demonstrations on behalf of justice, human

rights and an end to the use of torture, wherever it may be found, whoever

may be perpetrating it. As part of this mobilization, we plan to mount a

major media/public education campaign to publicize the reports delivered

directly by Amnesty International staff to the most senior administration

officials a year ago detailing allegations of torture and ill-treatment in

Afghanistan, Guantanamo and Iraq. Just this past week we taped an urgent

public service spot with actress and activist Susan Sarandon. We will be

seeking national distribution for the spot, which you can hear by clicking this link

We will also press for permission to dispatch an Amnesty delegation to

enter U.S. detention centers not only in Iraq, but also in Afghanistan,

Guantanamo Bay and various undisclosed locations. It is crucial that these

delegations include experts on the Geneva Conventions and other

international laws pertaining to prisoners of war, as well as experienced

human rights investigators. In the weeks ahead, please check out our Web

site for updates on our progress which your generous help makes possible.

And if you have already made a recent gift, please accept my warmest thanks.

With special appreciation for your enduring commitment and support.

Sincerely,

Bill Schulz

Executive Director

Amnesty International USA

P.S. Your membership in Amnesty sends a powerful message about what America

is really about. You can join or donate right now using

our safe and convenient online form.

P.S. (from me): Go thou and do likewise…

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